Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize