I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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