Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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