You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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