I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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