I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and she was petting her beer can
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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