Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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