I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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