JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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