apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize