Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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