I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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