i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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