i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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