i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize