Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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