you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize