Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
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this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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