I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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