I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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