well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize