worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
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after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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