Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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