sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize