So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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