Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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