I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize