What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize