I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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