Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize