fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize