whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize