need another drink. this is the easiest way
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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