my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize