we have pet lesbian snakes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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