She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
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How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
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I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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