Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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