i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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