I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize