Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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