you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize