I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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