2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize