It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize