i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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