I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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