Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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