All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
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So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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