I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Text me some of your sweat
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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