youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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